It takes about 7 to 10 days. Well, that's not too long.
Get plenty of rest. Always good advice, I'd love to do that.
Drink plenty of liquids. Sure, I can do that easily.
But I have a cold, and I don't want to take 7 to 10 days to get over this.
Getting plenty of rest isn't really a decision I have to make, I couldn't do anything energetic if I wanted to.
Drinking plenty of liquids means using the washroom frequently, that's the room with the big mirror so I can see my nose turning bright red from all the blowing and dark circles growing under my eyes because all the rest I'm getting isn't high quality rest.
There are "cold remedies" in drug stores. Entire aisles devoted to them. These provide the cold struck individual with an amazing array of syrups, lozenges, drinks, inhalers and pills promising to make you feel better. But none of them make the cold go away. Most of them make the average cold linger longer than the typical 10 days. Many of them give you a sugar rush - so much for that "plenty of rest" instruction. And all of them will give you that "I'm very medicated" feeling.
Why can't someone cure the common cold?
Is it a conspiracy among the makers of "cold remedies" to keep people staring at the aisle of syrups, lozenges, drinks, inhalers and pills? That's a rather far-out theory, but when you have a cold, you begin to think this is possible.
Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Yeah. I feel really strong. So we shouldn't cure the common cold because that would make us weaklings. I vote for weakness. Can I see a show of hands with tissues in them voting for that?
And somehow the worst part is that I haven't had a cold for about a year now, so I forgot how bad it really is, and I don't remember which of the "cold remedies" actually made me feel better. So I start all over again, staring at the aisle of lotions and potions, trying to define my symptoms, and remember which ones worked last time. How's that for a "glass half empty" point of view? Well, at least there is a glass. That's the best you get when you have a cold.
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