Did that sign say Reality Advisor?

It was before coffee... that's what I thought the sign said.

It really said Realty Advisor - someone who advises on purchasing real estate for investment purposes. But I think a reality advisor sounds like much more fun.

So what would a reality advisor do?

• Tell you that you look like an overstuffed teddy bear in that sweater.
• Advise that it will rain today. (Repeat every day until April.)
• Let you know it's not your metabolism, it's the high-fat high-sugar stuff you keep putting in your mouth.
• Advise reality show participants that being real will have them off the show in record time, they should go for melodramatic fiction instead.
• Tell you the sky is green. (OK, that was from a bored reality advisor - maybe he got into the wine.)
• Let you know that housework is never done.
• Burst that lottery-winning dream bubble. (This advisor is really getting me down.)
• Remind you that you have a dentist appointment. (That was just mean.)
• Let you know that you can't change the person you are dating, you can just waste a lot of time trying. (Awww.)
• Tell you no one will do your work if you don't....

OK, scrap that idea. That reality advisor is fired. No wonder you don't see signs for reality advisors... they would really bum you out, and people can do that by themselves, we don't need advisors for that.