Will the end of the world come to Australia first?

Early in the morning, we are up and out of bed because we have a flood in our apartment and the disaster people are searching for the cause of the water that has broken out of the pipes and gone onto our floor. So we listen to a bit of the morning news, where they report that Australia has already celebrated the New Year.

So if the world really is going to end - let's see, the latest estimate is on December 21, 2012 - will Australia be gone before we wake up here in Vancouver?

It seems rather anti-climatic to have the world end while we slumber. So will the end of the world be on the morning news? Or will the end hit everyone at once, so the timing will be off for most of the planet?

What if the world ends when it's midnight in the middle of the Pacific Ocean? Only the smallest fraction of people on the planet will see the world end at the time it's supposed to end. A bit of a dull end for the doomsday mongers.

Of course, if you look closely at the latest date for the end of the world, it's actually defined as the start of a new cycle. If you are an optimist, it's the start of something - but it's hard to make a compelling movie out of that, nothing blows up and L.A. does not do a swan dive into the ocean. If you are pessimist, not only can you make movies, but books, books, and more books can be written about the impending disaster.

Right now, another flood in our apartment seems much more likely than the whole world ending. Bad plumbing will end the world, mark my words.

If you can hear me... can you turn the sound system on?

Falling asleep in front of the TV can be a dangerous thing. The programs begin to blur together.

For example, if you fall asleep during an "ultimate rooms" program that is showing ultimate home entertainment rooms, specifically showing a room with a million dollar sound system that vibrates the chairs... and wake up to a ghost hunters program where people are asking "If you can hear me... can you make a noise?" the mind goes into some really weird places.

"If you can hear me... can you turn the sound system on?" is the question I heard when I woke up. I wondered who had died without telling their heirs how to turn the million dollar sound system on. That would be so annoying. Instructions should have been left... so am I having a really weird dream, or is the world going nutty?

That may have been OK as an isolated incident, but more recently I found myself not paying much attention to the TV when some monster hunters were showing the cage full of chickens they were going to leave out to tempt the monster to show itself. The ghost hunting show often has people trying to "provoke" the spirits into making a noise or moving something. The thought "Wouldn't leaving chickens in a room provoke those spirits more than moving the furniture... maybe someone should suggest it for the ghost hunters..." popped into my head.

Way too much TV. Or is that way too many ghost or monster hunting programs? Maybe I have my own ghost who is muddling my mind... that must be it.

Are they singing to the statues?

Half a dozen people in red pointed hats with white balls on the top. Hanging out together around an art installation of 7 foot tall statues next to English Bay beach. We couldn't tell for sure from our table inside Raincity Grill, but I think they were singing Christmas Carols to the statues.

It was Christmas Eve, so that's the last day carolers would be wandering around annoying people with off-key renditions of old worn-out songs. But would the statues be enjoying it? The statues look like they are made of a metal of some sort, so maybe the music would resonate quite nicely around the circle of statues.

Of course, if the carolers had vivid imaginations, that could be quite frightening. Voices echoing off 7 foot tall semi-human versions of fierce ball players. No, that one in the corner of your eye didn't move, really, it didn't. It's just shadows from car lights, it's just dark out, so you notice it more. Very dark. No snow on the ground, it's not raining, there aren't many stars out, but the moon is a half-crescent. The clouds passing in front of the moon aren't scary, and the coyotes that live around here are probably sleeping, not hunting.

And don't worry, people always drive that badly, they aren't drunk during this time of the year... none of those cars are going to careen into the open field and hit the statues and the carolers, really. I'm just an alarmist, sitting in a restaurant watching extremely bad driving outside the window I'm sitting at. Really.

Singing to the statues sounded nice at first blush, but an overactive imagination could make a horror story out of it!

Did we just get transported to a war zone?

Honk.

Honk. Honk. HOOOOONK.

Sirens, sirens, more sirens.

It sounds like we've been transported to a war zone. Our wonderfully livable downtown Vancouver is now a battle ground.

Canadians generally feel it's rather rude to honk their car horns. A brief tap if someone is sitting at a light that went green several seconds ago is about as much as we venture to do.

But it's Christmas. So damn the politeness, honk the horn. Forget counting to 10 before getting angry. Get into that car with the intention of beating everyone to wherever they are going. Shop, shop, shop until you've bloodied at least one nose getting what you want. Grab whatever you can reach because you can, whether you want it or not. Hit as many other people with your bags as you can reach.

'Tis the season... to be nasty... it will be over soon, we bloody well hope.

How do you have a control group in a surgical trial?

The key to a good medical trial is having a control group of patients who do not get the actual medical procedure being tested. This is a group of people who should not see any benefit to the treatment if the treatment actually works, because they didn't get the treatment. If they do see benefit, it's due to the power of their own minds convincing themselves that they are getting better (called the placebo effect).

So how does this work for a surgical trial?

I asked my Neurologist this question today. There is a new hope for MS patients called CCSVI, and I absolutely want in on it if there is a trial here in BC. So I wanted to know if I was in the control group that didn't get the surgery involved, wouldn't it be obvious that I didn't get the surgery?

She said they do placebo surgery! They cut just a little into the patients then they sew up the hole. That's not taking sugar pills instead of real medication, that's cutting into flesh! That would be soooooo annoying.

It was the first time I met this particular doctor. I've decided I don't like her. I told her that as an overriding stance on the subject, I don't like taking medicine. All medications have side effects. All medications are open to the "we thought it did this good thing, but now we know that it does that bad thing" future possibilities. She completely ignored me and suggested about 5 drugs I could take to help with this symptom or that symptom.

She did not listen to me. That means I will give her about the same respect she gave me. I will take whatever she says with a huge crystal of salt, because she doesn't listen well, and I don't think it's just me that she ignores. Her mind is closed.

For example, she said they just do a little cut, then sew it up if you get the placebo surgery. I happen to know that the patient is awake during this surgery, the patient would know if a tube is being inserted into a vein and moved up the body or not. The placebo surgery would need to be far more than a little cut.

I still want to be in a trial, even if I get the placebo surgery. It's the best chance I've heard of for real improvement in the lives of people with MS. Bring it on.

Who moved all the books?

Yesterday I was in the library to return a book, and since it was very cold outside and I had just frozen my hands getting there, I looked around at books in the fiction section while warming back up. I went to the aisle that typically has my favourite authors in it to see if there was anything new... and the books weren't there!

Yes, there were books on the shelves, but not the books I was looking for. Not the books that had been there every time I had looked before.

I did eventually find the books I was looking for... in an area with about 3 rows of bookshelves, the books had moved from row 3 to row 1. They had done a little jump to the left.

Who moved all the books I was looking for a jump to the left?

And who moved the other books a step to the right?

Who put their hands on all the books and risked their knees in the tight shelves?

But it's the pelvic thrust that's really got them insaaane.

Let's do the time warp again!

Sorry, couldn't resist the slip into Rocky Horror there...

So was this a grand scheme to confuse everyone? (Shuffling the books around, not the digressing into Rocky Horror, I've done that so many times over the years it doesn't confuse anyone anymore.)

Did they actually dust the shelves? Was that the point? I wonder what kinds of odd things they found on the shelves... there's more than just books on them there horizontal surfaces. And I'm not talking about dust. Think unconventional conventioneers... a party... musical numbers... a library would be the perfect place for reprising Rocky Horror, lots of twists and turns... maybe some interesting experiments in the storage rooms...

Is that the definition of cacophony?

Oh dear, the world is defining things again.

We had the Santa Clause Parade on Sunday in downtown Vancouver. The parade starts about a block away from our apartment, so we typically hear some warming up of bands before the parade starts. This photo was taken outside our bedroom window at about 11:30am. This year the noise was far greater than normal, making me wonder if this is the very definition of cacophony.

A brief rundown of the noises (note, most noises overlapped each other - thus the cacophony defining):

11 am

• Santa Clause is Coming To Town - live band playing
• Oh come let us adore him - live singers
• Ratta tat tat - live drummers
• On the dance floor oooh ooooh - recording
• You better not cry - recording
• Something that sounds like a Beach Boy's song - live singers
• Oh come let us adore him - live singers
• Wooo hooo - live young girls
• Da da da de daaa da da - live horns
• Smoke alarm going off in someone's kitchen

11:30 am - I gave up on sleeping in and went to have a shower

12:30 pm

• Rock'in Christmas - recording repeated at least twice in succession
• A welcome garbage truck in the alley making it's usual banging noises while emptying dumpsters - a semblance of normality
• Ratta tat tat - live drummers
• Oh come let us adore him - live singers
• Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy - live horns
• Christmas Day in the Morning - live horns
• Bagpipes! Maybe we're getting close to the end?
• Clean and crisp and even - live horns & drums
• I blessed the rains down in Africa - live band - very odd
• Various other recorded songs

1:30 pm Drummers jamming - live band

1:40 pm Go Tell It on the Mountain - live band

1:45 pm Joy to the World - live singing and Santa Clause is Coming to Town - live band (at the same time)

2 pm - Didn't the parade start at 1pm? Shouldn't everyone be gone by now? Ohhhhh, the float for Santa is still in the street below our window... slow parade! Santa Clause is still Coming to Town.

I've recorded the cacophony so I can remember it once we've moved away from here. Typically we have the marching bands practicing in the street and the alley on the other side of our building when the parade comes to town. This is the first year we've had the floats and multiple bands and cheerleaders (they had pink pom-poms - that means cheerleaders, right?) crowding into the street below us. It's much noisier than having just the marching bands. They don't take turns, it's more like they try to out-noise each other. Cacophony. Yep, that's the definition.

Should I start singing now?

I was in Stanley Park taking pictures on a beautiful sunny day a couple of days ago, and I've been having trouble getting the song "Talk to the Animals" out of my head ever since!

Why is this? Because the animals were sitting on me!

This is a picture of one of the chickadees that perched on my hand while taking seeds from me. There were about a dozen of them landing on my hand, on my shoulder, on my wheelchair, some tried for my head, but I was moving about... they were just everywhere.

And the squirrel that surprised me last time I was in the park by climbing up my leg climbed up my leg again. This time I had some walnut pieces ready for it. It sat on my leg and ate! I thought it would grab the nut and run, but it didn't! It was very soft and warm. (I haven't finished up the photos I got of the squirrel yet.)

So I've learned a couple of things from this - one, the breathing exercises from my yoga classes have paid off in my ability to stay still and relaxed while little animals are running all over me. Two, it's still very difficult to take photos of chickadees, even if you know exactly where they will be - getting seeds from your hand - because they are incredibly fast! I took maybe 30 pictures, and this is the 1 that came out. This will take a bit more practice... If I could talk to the animals, talk to the animals...

Is it that time already?

We received our first Christmas card yesterday. It's only Dec 3! Good grief, is it the end of the year already?

The month of December is our stay away from the stores, except to buy food month. The shopping for stuff insanity is just too annoying for words. It's just so depressing to see so many grumpy people frowning and arguing with each other. So the Christmas cheer - which is really a snarl - is not something we participate in.

We do send out cards and newsletter-type updates at the end of the year, but we always wish people a happy new year instead of trying to figure out who is following which religion this year. We really do wish people will have a happy new year, so there is no false cheeriness we have to put on just because society wants us to.

We're such rebels - which smiley face is the one where the eyes roll up? Hmm, you'll just have to picture it in your mind, blogger doesn't seem to do emoticons.